#7 Don't waste your precious energy in gossip,energy vampires, issues of past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

THINGS TO ENHANCE YOUR  PERSONALITY

—Don't compare your life

Stop Comparing Your Life. Start Living It.

“Envy is ever joined with the comparing of a man’s self; and where there is no comparison, no envy.” —Sir Francis Bacon

Most of us understand the foolishness of trying to compare ourselves to others. We would readily admit that no good ever comes from it.

Yet, whether we are comparing our home size, paycheck, physical features, or any number of measurable (and even unmeasurable) things, we do it all the time. But there are inherent problems:

1. We most often compare the wrong things. 

Because we can most easily compare the things that we can objectively measure, we live in a world that is great at measuring and comparing externals. Somewhere along the way, we decided that we could determine who is living a more valuable life by comparing clothes, cars, homes, paychecks, beauty, or Twitter followers. But externals are rarely a good measure. Net-worth has never been a good indicator of self-worth.

2. We always compare our worst with their best. 

Comparing your life with others is always a losing proposition because there will always be people who “appear” to be better off than you and seemingly live the perfect life. After all, we always compare the worst of what we know about ourselves to the best assumptions that we make about others. Be advised, their life is never as perfect as your mind makes it out to be.

3. There is no end to the comparison game. 

There is an infinite number of categories upon which you can compare yourself… and an almost infinite number of people to compare yourself to. Once you start down that road, you will never, ever find an end.

4. Life isn’t graded on a curve.

 How you measure up against others holds absolutely no importance in your life anyway. It simply makes no difference. The goal of life is not to be better than 50% of the other people on the planet. The goal of life is to be the best you that you can possibly be.

5. Comparison puts your focus on the wrong person. 

You can control one life – yours. When we consistently compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own.

6. Comparison robs you of joy. 

Comparing yourself to others will always cause you to regret what you aren’t, rather than allow you to enjoy life as who you are. It will always steal the joy and happiness that is within your reach… and place it just outside of your reach instead.

Many a contented life has been stolen by the unhealthy habit of comparing ourselves to others. Comparing ourselves to others will always rob us of gratitude, joy, and fulfillment.

But even more than that, it prevents us from fully living our lives. It calls us to envy someone else’s life and seek theirs rather than ours. It robs us of our most precious possession: life itself. And while the temptation to compare may never be completely eliminated, there are certainly some practical steps that we can take to move past it.

How can we stop comparing ourselves to others? Here are some helpful steps:

1. Recognize the inherent problems in comparing yourself to another. 

Take a good look at the list above. Why would we want any habit in our life that promotes feelings of inferiority? Or consistently promotes envy, competition, and strife with no end in sight? Sometimes, just a reminder of the foolishness contained in the habit is the most important step in overcoming it.

2. Celebrate who you are. 

There are many wonderful things about your life. You are an artist… or a businessman… or a mother… or a good listener… or a generous soul. You have much to celebrate and are entirely unique. Any comparison between you and another person is like comparing apples to oranges. They aren’t living your life, you are. Therefore, you should expect the results to be completely different.

3. Focus inward. 

Value generosity, humility, goodness, kindness, and love. Begin to focus on developing the inward qualities of a simplified life and the externals will lose their beauty. And the quicker we find beauty on the inside, the sooner we’ll stop comparing things on the outside (skin-deep beauty, paychecks, or power).

4. Realize life is not a competition. 

There may be times when competition is appropriate, but life is not one of them. We have all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet. And the sooner we stop competing against others to “win,” the faster we can start working together to figure it out.

5. Remember that nobody is perfect. 

We live in a society that glamorizes perfection. Consider that magazine racks are full of models and celebrities with perfect faces telling one-sided stories of great triumph and fulfillment. One important step to avoiding the lure of comparison is to remember that one snapshot in time never tells the whole story. The story is never told of the hours in a make-up room or the photo editing technique to cover the blemishes. The story is rarely told of their insecurities or failures (except to mention how they overcame them). That story doesn’t sell nearly as many magazines. But the truth remains: there are no perfect people – including you and including me.

6. Live as intentional as possible. 

Too many people live their lives without intentionality or thought. They rarely find a quiet moment to sit in meditation or solitude and examine their life – who they are and who they are becoming. As a result, lives are lived as a reaction to the events around them. But when a life is lived intentionally and thoughtfully, the comparison game becomes less attractive.

As humans, it is in our nature to compare ourselves to others. But nothing good ever comes from it. So let’s stop comparing ourselves to others. We were not born to live their life. There is no sense wasting our life (or energy) being jealous of theirs. Instead, let’s start living our lives. Let’s determine today to be good at it. After all, we only get one shot.

—Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot  control. Instead invest your energy in the positive  present moment .

Negative thinking is the easiest way to slow down your  personal goals. But how do you get rid of negative thoughts? There are a number of ways to do it, and the one you choose is likely a personal decision.

1. Speak To The Negative Thought

Practice becoming aware of when these thoughts come up. Are you tired, hungry, disappointed, stressed or something else? When we try to ignore negative thoughts, they don’t go away, they continue to pop up. To counteract them, recognize them. Let your internal voice say, “I’m recognizing a negative thought; it’s a story I’m telling myself, and it’s not true.” This squashes negativity pretty fast.

2. Get Around Positive People

Do you want to catch a cold? Get around people with a cold. I am not sure that advice still stands, but it certainly means something to me when coaching others. I see a lot of people associating with like-minded and often negative people when they are trying to change something in their lives, like a job. Negative people are not optimistic. Get around positivity physically, through your ears and eyes.

3. Don't Expect Everything To Be Perfect

Expecting everything to be perfect can be debilitating and robs you of true happiness. Make sure your vision of success is steeped in reality. For example, if you are promoted next year -- instead of this year, as expected -- does one year really change anything in the long run? Striving for goals with a detachment to the end state having to be perfect can be a liberating way to live on your own terms.

4. Work With An Active Mindset

There are no substitutions for a bulletproof mindset. Finding a practice that works for you is key. When coaching different types of clientele (executives, millennials, entrepreneurs), each group works differently. The one thing I have found to be true and practical is that there is no standard practice. Your mindset practice is completely personalized and will evolve depending on what limiting beliefs you are trying to remove, as well as what positive traits are you trying to instill in your daily routine. The most important advice I can give is "stick with it." Get into a routine, find what works, and don't stop until you have mastered the program you choose.

5. Develop A Positive Morning Routine

Thinking starts early in the morning. When a leader controls their thinking, they control their life. Negative thinking can slow a leader down. Leaders must take every thought captive by replacing thoughts of fear with thoughts of hope and belief. One tool that many great thinking leaders use is to develop a morning routine where they read something encouraging and positive every morning.

6. Just Breathe

In order to stop negative thoughts, you need to slow everything down, and first learn to just notice them. Incorporating alarms, reminders and literal time blocks into your schedule to just breathe will bring you more ease and self-awareness. Then, when you start to notice how many negative thoughts you are having, simply breathe them away. The trick is not to judge yourself or get caught up in your negative thoughts. You will get stronger at this exercise with time, just like anything else.

7. Become Intentional About Your Attitude

Assuming a positive attitude is an intentional action that starts as soon as you wake up in the morning. Become aware when you are focusing on the negative and make the decision to focus on the positive instead. Your attitude is a choice. You attract what you focus on, so let go of that which does not serve your goals. The more you practice positive mind-shifts, the easier it becomes.

8. Try The Displacement Theory

Have you ever tried to stop thinking? Try it sometime, and see what happens. If you want to break negative thought patterns, you have to replace them with something else. No one can think about two things at the same time. So, pick something you would love to do and start working on it; let your pursuit of that dream displace the old thoughts.

9. Focus On The Promise, Not The Problem

No matter your talents or current work environment, there will always be reasons for negative thoughts if you let them exist. When you start to feel negative, just remember why you are there. Focus on where you are headed and why that is important to you.  It really is about the end goal, not the unpleasant parts of the process.

10. Tap Into The Root Problem

Most negative thinking stems from a problem that's not visibly seen on the surface. I call it the "root problem." These negative thought patterns are sometimes ingrained in us from early on and have become part of our programming. In order to overcome these negative thought patterns, you must identify the deeper-seeded reason why these patterns keep showing up. Then and only then will you be able to address the issue.

11. Make A Conscious Choice

You can't get rid of negative thought patterns unless you can surface what they are. Get to know your negative thinking and how it gets triggered. Only with that self-awareness can you begin to identify when it is happening and make a choice to shift your perspective in the moment. 

—Don't waste your precious energy on gossip

#7 Don't waste your precious energy in gossip,energy vampires, issues of past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

You have probably had someone tell you to "look on the bright side" or to "see the cup as half full." Chances are good that the people who make these comments are positive thinkers. Researchers are finding more and more evidence pointing to the many benefits of optimism and positive thinking.

Such findings suggest that not only are positive thinkers healthier and less stressed, they also have greater overall well-being. According to positive psychology researcher Suzanne Segerstrom, "Setbacks are inherent to almost every worthwhile human activity, and a number of studies show that optimists are in general both psychologically and physiologically healthier."

Even if positive thinking does not come naturally to you, there are plenty of great reasons to start cultivating affirmative thoughts and minimizing negative self-talk.

Positive Thinkers Cope Better With Stress

When faced with stressful situations, positive thinkers cope more effectively than pessimists. In one study, researchers found that when optimists encounter a disappointment (such as not getting a job or promotion) they are more likely to focus on things they can do to resolve the situation. Rather than dwelling on their frustrations or things that they cannot change, they will devise a plan of action and ask others for assistance and advice. Pessimists, on the other hand, simply assume that the situation is out of their control and there is nothing they can do to change it.

Optimism Can Improve Your Immunity

In recent years, researchers have found that your mind can have a powerful effect on your body. Immunity is one area where your thoughts and attitudes can have a particularly powerful influence. In one study, researchers found that activation in brain areas associated with negative emotions led to a weaker immune response to a flu vaccine. Researchers Segerstrom and Sephton found that people who were optimistic about a specific and important part of their lives, such as how well they were doing in school, exhibited a stronger immune response than those who had a more negative view of the situation.

Positive Thinking Is Good for Your Health

Not only can positive thinking impact your ability to cope with stress and your immunity, it also has an impact on your overall well-being. The Mayo Clinic reports a number of health benefits associated with optimism, including a reduced risk of death from cardiovascular problems, less depression, and an increased lifespan. While researchers are not entirely clear on why positive thinking benefits health, some suggest that positive people might lead healthier lifestyles. By coping better with stress and avoiding unhealthy behaviors, they are able to improve their health and well-being.

It Can Make You More Resilient

Resilience refers to our ability to cope with problems. Resilient people are able to face a crisis or trauma with strength and resolve. Rather than falling apart in the face of such stress, they have the ability to carry on and eventually overcome such adversity. It may come as no surprise to learn that positive thinking can play a major role in resilience. When dealing with a challenge, optimists typically look at what they can do to fix the problem. Instead of giving up hope, they marshal their resources and are willing to ask others for help.

Researchers have also found that in the wake of a crisis, such as a terrorist attack or natural disaster, positive thoughts and emotions encourage thriving and provide a sort of buffer against depression among resilient people. Fortunately experts also believe that such positivism and resilience can be cultivated. By nurturing positive emotions, even in the face of terrible events, people can reap both short-term and long-term rewards, including managing stress levels, lessening depression, and building coping skills that will serve them well in the future.

Final Thoughts

Before you put on those rose-colored glasses, it is important to note that positive thinking is not about taking a "Pollyanna" approach to life. In fact, researchers have found that in some instances, optimism might not serve you well. For example, people who are excessively optimistic might overestimate their own abilities and take on more than they can handle, ultimately leading to more stress and anxiety.

Instead of ignoring reality in favor of the silver lining, psychologists suggest that positive thinking centers on such things as a belief in your abilities, a positive approach to challenges, and trying to make the most of bad situations. Bad things will happen. Sometimes you will be disappointed or hurt by the actions of others. This does not mean that the world is out to get you or that all people will let you down. Instead, positive thinkers will look at the situation realistically, search for ways that they can improve the situation, and try to learn from their experiences.

—Dream more while you are awake

Am I kidding? No. This is what millionaires do automatically. If it is not your automatic habit to slip into the future and see yourself already successful at something you have not yet achieved; create that habit now.

You’ve probably heard that you are either consciously creating what you want or unconsciously creating what you don’t want. Dreaming while you are awake is consciously creating specifically what you want by putting new fresh software into your creative mind.

You have two minds. One that sleeps when you sleep and one that never sleeps. That’s the one that creates your reality. That’s the one that has created exactly what you already have according to exactly how it is has been programmed. Who programmed it? You were programmed by your parents, your teachers, your environment, your peers, and everything you heard and saw, predominantly, up to the age of eight. Can you see that your ideas about money, relationships, and life in general reflects what and who you were exposed to at that time?

If you want more, it’s time to expose your creative mind to more. The marvelous thing is that your creative (subconscious) mind can be reprogrammed by your conscious mind simply by putting new images into it. Psychologists tell us that the imagination is the strongest mind power we have as humans. You live at the level of your imagination.

Neville, in the The Law and the Promise, tells us, “Divine imagining and human imagining are not two powers at all, rather one.” We are given this power by divinity. How dare we not use it!

Unless you imagine yourself as someone else or somewhere else, your present conditions and circumstances will continue and your present problems will reoccur. All the things in your life continue and renew themselves by your constant imagining. All things in your life are made by you and all things in your life will cease because of you. Everyone lives on the level of his or her constant imagination, whether it's done consciously and deliberately or unconsciously.

Neville says it best. “To attempt to change circumstances before you change your imaginal activity is to struggle against the very nature of things. There can be no outer change until there is first an imaginal change , is but futile readjustment of surfaces. Imagining the wish fulfilled brings about a union with the state and during that union you behave in keeping with your imaginal change. Nothing stands between you and fulfillment of your dreams but facts—and fact are the creations of imagining. If you change your imagining, you will change the facts!”

Many people think it is the ‘IQ’, their intelligence quotient that makes a difference in their life. More important in determining the quality of their life is the other ‘IQ’, their imagination quotient. Is your imaginary story constantly about what someone did to you yesterday or years ago? Well—expect more of that unless you decide to change it. Your imagination rules your world, but you rule your imagination. It’s your life, decide what you want and start creating it by dreaming more while you are awake!

For more help contact Akshay s kumar 

mail hariakshay010@gmail.com